The weather has been fabulous - minus a few cold pockets - but other than that Eila and I have been enjoying afternoon strolls and snoozes (well she snoozes and I walk at a steady pace to keep it that way) in the sun.  Yesterday we walked to the indoor playground for a play date - that's an 8 km walk (round trip) needless to say I am totally out of shape and my legs are sore today.  But the sun is shining and I am ready to hit the neighbourhood this afternoon.  Other than lazy spring days - this is also what we've been up to.

Eila is currently making my heart skip a beat with fear and pride.  She decided last Sunday that it would be a good idea to start walking unassisted.  Before that she had only taken a few odd steps here and there - most of which we thought were fluke steps.  However on Sunday after the Easter festivities Eila decided that a room full of family was where she wanted to test out her new found courage.  She pulled herself up and just went for it.  She took three consecutive steps.  And then she bailed on the carpet and there was blood - in her mouth.  I was equally proud and terrified. But I scooped her up and offered to nurse and she recovered nicely.  Since then - she hasn't stopped - in true Eila fashion and has a nice bruise on her face.  Just yesterday she took nine consecutive steps - fell down and took five more.  WTF??!!  and then the cat ran by and I swear she literally ran after him.  I am pretty sure the cat also exclaimed "WTF?! She can walk now?"

Eila and I are currently eating soccer mom orange slices.  Sadly oranges don't taste nearly as awesome as they did when I was pregnant - but I do like a good orange.  So far Eila's favourites are minneola and cara care oranges - both of which I devoured while pregnant. 

Steve is currently enjoying how excited Eila is when he gets home from work.  As soon as she hears the door - she bolts for it.  She has also started waving so if she's too busy to crawl over she'll just give him a wave and a huge grin.  I know one day, way too soon, I will appreciated this as well after a long day of work. 

I am currently hiding the fact that my maternity leave is almost over.  I am just flat out not looking at the calendar.  What day or month is it?  Who cares - I just don't want to know.  While I am eager to get back into a routine and challenge my brain again - I also enjoy my days home with Eila.  Playing games, cooking lunch, going on strolls, afternoon napping! I just can't believe it's almost over and we are moving on to a new phase in our lives. 

I am currently noticing how much Eila has changed in the last month.  She has become less like a baby and more like a little girl.  The way she moves.  The way she plays.  The way she babbles.   There is still a little baby in there somewhere - it's just not as noticeable these days.  She is basically 10 months going on 3 years. 


Guest Post: National Infertility Awareness Week - Sarah from Midwest Pillowtalk

Today I am pleased to do a small smart in spreading awareness about infertility for National Infertility Awareness Week.  Did you know that infertility is something that affects 1 in 8 couples?  So we are all bound to know some couples (or a few if you're really popular) that are struggling to start a family.  Some may be open about it, some more quiet, regardless it's important that there is more information, personal stories, struggles and successes shared about this topic.

My friend Lauren is one of those eight couples.  And it makes my heart so sad for her.  But then Lauren is so awe inspiring that she took this speed bump and tried to turn it around.  She started openly blogging about her experience, she started sewing burp rags and bandana bibs to support her next steps in her infertility journey and then she organized a weekly blogging series for NIAW for non-infertile bloggers to open their blogs to interfile bloggers. 

As part of that I was matched with Sarah from Midwest Pillowtalk and opened up my blog for her to share her Infertility Story.  Her successes and her ongoing fight.  Sarah is a new blogger to me - so I am excited to learn more about her alongside with you....so with that please welcome Sarah to Hope Squared...

Sarah from Midwest Pillowtalk

Hey Emily's Readers!

im Sarah and i blog over at Midwest Pillowtalk, mainly about our family and our life with a miracle baby thats just a few months younger than Eila! I'm so thankful that Emily is hosting me today to open up about a very important event thats taking place right now. I hope you stop by and say hi!

this week is National Infertility Awareness Week, or also seen around as NIAW.

its a week near and dear to my heart.

so today?

sweet Emily over at Hope Squared is opening up her blog to me.

im opening up about infertility. im advocating for our 'disease'.

im also telling you, that, here we are. looking infertility in the eye again.

resolve to know more.

+ 1 in 8 women struggle with infertility

+ infertility affects about 10% of the population

+ infertility can be diagnosed for both women AND men

+ ONLY 15 states have passed laws requiring insurance to cover some level of infertility treatment. minnesota is not one of them.

+ infertility treatments can make one go bat shit crazy.

this year i blog about it with an 8 month old on the floor while he repeatedly dumps out his easter basket. last year i blogged for 2013's NIAW with a baby in my belly. though i have no blog posts for the 3 years before that, i have scars and memories of pain.

since the moment i was cleared from my dr at 6 weeks post partum on 9.13.13, we began trying for another baby.

its now 4.21.14. we have had 7 months of no luck. on top of our unlucky years before having Crue.

when we were in florida, we had some VERY rude pervy man in the lobby of our hotel who kept chatting with isaiah and i as we looked around after checking. i don't know how it happened but some words came out of his mouth asking me how many kids i have, as isaiah was holding C - and i said "one, thats my kid" as i pointed over to my husband with my son. some more words went by, perhaps about more children? i don't even remember. but what i remember is that next he mentioned something about having sex. how making kids is so much fun. 1st: EXCUSE ME? 2nd: YOU DONT KNOW MY LIFE. 3rd: i am infertile. C was not a result of "having fun". 4th: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU. i won't ever forget that man or those words. like, what?

crue is our joy. he is our miracle. and of course he was well worth every needle, every ultrasound, every doctor visit, tear and struggle. more worth it than i could tell anyone.

i love that i get to play with him every day. he's a great distraction from infertility. because even though we have him? infertility is still a part of my life. our reality.

isaiah and i have been discussing how long we want to try on our own. how long do we wait for a period, how many ovulation kits we want to keep buying, how many mornings I'll take my temperature before going to get crue. and.

when we want to throw in the towel and back to our RE.

when enough is enough, if you will.

right now? we take it day by day.

but the truth is,

it still stings.

thank you Resolve for 25 years of your support.

thank you Emily for opening your blog to me during such an important week <3

read here about 25 ways you can support the movement.



We had spring for like three seconds on Sunday - and it was glorious!  It's so much easier to take a baby outside without having to mess around with a billion layers and trying to keep the freezing cold wind off their faces.  It's so much nicer to let their hair blow in the breeze.  But sadly by Tuesday it snowed again and my faith in mother nature was crushed, yet again!

Besides being sad about the weather - this is what else has been going on here....

I was currently clearing out all the dead leaves from the lawn on Sunday.  After I took this picture of Eila I realized that the lawn could use a good raking.  So I put away the snow shovels and pulled out the rakes (little did I know that we would get another blast of winter just two days later).  Our lawn is tiny - but I managed to clean up a yard waste bag full of leaves.  I think that's the most exercise I've done since before I got pregnant.

Eila is currently digging oranges.  It makes me laugh because of the fact that while pregnant with her I ate more oranges than anyone on the planet.  She just devours them.  She isn't a big eater when it comes to solids - but girl can pound back a half an orange in very little time. And then I read this - and figured that Eila knew she liked oranges before she even knew what an orange was.

We are currently reading the First 100 Words book.  Well I suppose we are strictly flipping to the page that has a cat and a kitten so Eila can tell us "CA-AT" and then proceed to kiss it 100 times.  She is still so very madly in love with Basil - that it's not surprising that her second real word would be cat. 

Steve and I are currently watching the second season of Girls.  It was a nice change of pace after we completely binge watched the entire Dexter series in about a month.  Ridiculous.  We were so ready for it to be over - I just wonder if we watched it a little less if we would have felt the same way?  Anyways - I don't know what took us so long to watch Girls again.  We loved the first season - now we are frantically trying to find a way to get our hands on the third season.  Suggestions? 

Hope your Easter weekend is full of mini eggs and more mini eggs.